Homicide flavored Chips?
by pineapplepenpals
Summary: As if the SBPD didnt have enough to worry about with a certain fake psychic but now with four LAPD transfers making their way to the SBPD Santa Barbara is gonna need al the help it can get as Sam and Drew turn this city on its head.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**** Hey there Psych fan girl…boy… er, person. My birth certificate says my name is Samantha Parker, but please for the love of all things pure and good in the universe, call me Sam. Your neighbors do it toooooooooooo! But that's neither here nor there. Anyways, My furry companion Drew and I- **

***Drew: I'm not furry Sam! **

***Sam: Okay buddy, whatever you say…where was I? Oh yeah, well Drew and I are going to share our awesome adventures with you guys through the art of writing. As if things weren't interesting enough for us at the LAPD, our commander decided that our "Skills would be better utilized at the Santa Barbra PD." Isn't that right old girl? **

***Drew: Sam I swear, if you allude to me as being a dog one more time… **

***Sam: Anyways, the very human Drew and I are planning to turn this into a series if we get a good enough feedback so reviews are always welcome! So until next time, See ya! **

****Psych and its characters belong to Steve Franks and USA****

The young woman tried concentrating on the road in spite of her present worries. She and her best friend/coworker had been transferred from working as consultant detectives at the LAPD to the SBPD not even a week ago. Goodness, they still had yet to unpack their stuff and move into their rather unsavory apartment. She could just feel her blood pressure rising at the thought of unpacking everything herself since her new room mate would no doubt be preoccupied playing videogames. The duo had a few good years of private detective experience under their belts and were highly praised by their clients. Their methods may be a bit outlandish, but they always got the job done. All in all, she took pride in being a respectable, hardworking woman. In truth, there was really nothing too remarkable about her as an individual, but her friend on the other hand, was blessed with extraordinary observation and deductive skills. But Sam also had sort of a knack for getting into trouble and if not for her, who would keep Sam safe and out of trouble? Or keep Sam from making trouble for that matter. She had heard that a so-called "Psychic" had been solving a good amount of crimes in this area, and Sam, being a naturally competitive person, would no doubt take that as a challenge.

"Prius!" yelled Sam punching her in the arm, breaking her train of thought.

"Sam, how many times have I told you, there is no Prius apocalypse coming." Drew sighed obviously unamused. Sam noticed her friend's dismay and tried to keep a straight face, although the smirk that settled on her lips betrayed her.

"Hey, you still think that there's going to be a vending machine revolution…" muttered Sam.

"That's a valid assumption, Sa-"

"SQUIRREL!" Sam loudly interrupted.

"Squirrel?! Where!?" Drew exclaimed, ducking as if a squirrel would sneak up from the back seat and pull a knife to her throat. Drew had a hard time coping with squirrels ever since a visit to CSUN went terribly wrong… but that's another story for another time.

"SQUIRREL!" repeated Sam, this time taking the wheel to make a sharp turn, narrowly avoiding squashing a certain fuzzy creature. Now they were on a course for impact with a stop sign, Drew thought fast and tugged the wheel back just barely avoiding a collision and swiftly parallel parked the mini coop at the nearest sidewalk. The Santa Barbra police department was just a few blocks from where they were and she wasn't going to take any more chances with any other furry disturbances that may decide to appear.

"Were walking from here." Drew said as she tried to regain her composure.

"Agreed."

"Good morrow to you chief-eth Vick-eth of Santa Barbra-shshshshshire."

"Spencer, I don't have time for you shenanigans right now. I have to make a very important announcement." Vick said making her way past the fake psychic and his best friend, Gus.

"Is this about the new ICEE machine were installing in the lounge? Gus and I are very grateful. In fact we'd be absolutely overjoyed if you would also supply those colorful straws with the built in spoon on the tip." Shawn said with a certain seriousness to his voice.

"Don't you even think for a second that your gunna finish all the cherry and leave me with coke again, Shawn." Gus interjected.

"Wouldn't dream of it Gus."

"Damn right."

Completely disregarding the nonsense she was just confronted with, the chief made her way to the center of the station.

"Gather round people, I have an announcement!" Chief Vick bellowed causing a wave of clattering made by a brood of police officers scrambling around her.

"Alright, we have four new transfers from the LAPD. Mei Rin, a rookie in training, Bernedette Carlyle, the LAPD's former head detective, and our new consulting detectives, Sam Parker and Drew Summers. Any questions?" She ended, clasping her hands to signify the end of her announcement.

"So let me get this straight, so we're NOT getting an ICEE machine?" Shawn asked while putting his arm back down to his side.

"Come on in guys," The blonde authority figure called.

The first transfer to enter the room was young woman about age 28. She had sleek black hair that probably went down to her shoulder blades, but was pulled back neatly into a pony tail, revealing her slightly flushed cheeks and beaming chestnut brown eyes. Her uniform was pressed and her badge and name tag were polished exquisitely. She even made her issued loafers shine. The rookie shook the Chief's hand with great enthusiasm.

"Hello Chief, it will be my honor to help keep the streets of Santa Barbra safe," She said with great respect.

The woman grinned at the rookies willingness to serve "Indeed. McNabb!"

The abnormally large cop made his way front and center. "Yes Chief?"

"You are going to mentor Mei Rin. I trust you McNabb, so don't let me down."

The officer was at a loss for words for a moment. This was brought on by a mixture of both pride and fear. "B-but of course Chief." He finally said as he made his way to the awaiting rookie.

Next to enter the room was a tall, slender woman about age 45. She had a long cascade of dark brown hair that showcased her incredibly rare, yet piercing violet eyes. She wore a black tailored suit that she paired with a cherry red camisole and pointed toed heels to match.

"Good afternoon Chief, I hope to be the best head detective this station has ever seen." She said regally.

Vick paused a moment before awkwardly breaking the news "I'm sorry to inform you, but, you'll be working under our head detective…Carlton Lassiter."

"So, you mean to tell me that, I'm NOT the head detective?" Bernadette said in a eerily monotone fashion

"I'm sorry for the miss communication Detective." Vic said apologetically.

"But I thought…I was told that…Parker…" The disgruntled detective hissed under her breath.

The room was overcome by an awkward silence which was quickly broken by the smug snicker of a certain head detective-THE head detective. Bernadette shot a death glare towards an obviously unimpressed Lassiter. All of a sudden the crowd cleared a passage for the enraged transferred detective leading straight to him.

"Hello detective." She said sticking out her hand coldly.

"Hello Bernadette" Lassiter said grasping her thin hand. "It will be a pleasure working with you"

"Please, call me detective Carlyle." She said, both her grip and tone tightening.

"How 'bout Miss Carlyle?" Lassiter said with a crooked grin.

"Detective. Carlyle." The woman annunciated firmly as she just about crushed every bone in the unsuspecting detective's hand. Lassiter tried to keep his composure in front of his collogues as best as he could.

"Would you all excuse me?" He said walking out of the room, nursing his newly injured hand by his chest. As Lassiter walked into Vick's office, he unknowingly leaned against the intercom button while letting out a string of cusswords so vile, that McNabb passed out on top of poor Mei Rin who collapsed under his weight. Shawn and Gus both looked at each other in somewhat disbelief as to what was unraveling before them.

Everyone rushed over to help Buzz gain conciseness and help Mei Rin up from under him. A pall of awkwardness then overtook the station as Lassiter walked back into the room, completely unaware that his little episode had been broadcasted across the entire station.

"Wait…where's miss Parker and miss Summers?" Said the chief, trying to process the situation.

"Late as usual…" Muttered Bernadette.

As if on que, two women about 30 years of age walked in. The first had curled ginger tresses which contrasted with her porcelain skin and large pale blue eyes. She wore an open blue flannel shirt over a T-shirt which was graced with Captain Crunch's likeness, paired with jeans and a warn pair of once white converse. The other had strawberry blond hair that framed her perfectly bronzed face, which only exaggerated her emerald green, almond shaped eyes. She sported a pastel blue blouse with ruffled details on the front which she tucked neatly under a pair of fitted khaki pants that hid her puma runners.

Shawn and Gus' attentions shifted from the fiasco that was just starting to die down, to the two young women that had entered the station.

"Mr. Spencer, Mr. Guster, this is Miss Parker and Miss Summers. They'll be working on a large portion, if not all cases with you, so you guys better familiar with each other" Vick said while walking back to her office.

"Hello, my name is Drew Summers," The strawberry blonde said politely.

"The names Parker…Sam Parker." said the other forming her hands into a gun.

Shawn looked over at his still astounded friend. "I'm Shawn Spencer," He touched his index finger to his temple, "Psychic detective, and this is my partner Lind-"Gus slapped his hand over Shawn's mouth before he could give him some stupid alias.

" I'm Burton Guster. If you ladies have any questions about how things work around here please, don't hesitate to ask." Gus said, promptly dismissing his hand from his friend's mouth, just to begin smoothing his eyebrows with his index fingers seductively.

"Excuse me, but are you being for real right now?" Drew scoffed.

"I'm as real as it gets." Gus said as smoothly as possible.

"Really dude?" Shawn said shooting Gus a disapproving look.

"What? A guy can't be cordial? "

"Permission to kill?" Drew asked Sam hopefully.

Before Sam could give a verdict, Vick stepped out of her office to call Lassiter and Carlyle to her office to brief them on the case she was about to assign them.


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:****Hey the guys! Its Sam here to give you guys chapter two! What case does Chief Vick have in store for her subordinates? Let's find out…**

*****Psych and it's characters belong to Steve Franks and USA*****

Shawn used his foot to stop the door to the Chief's office from completely closing behind the two high ranking detectives as they entered. The fake psychic then proceeded to hold the door open for their two new female partners and swiftly step in front of Gus just to irritate him. Judging by the terse breath that escaped his friends' mouth, he succeeded.

The blonde woman let out a weary sigh "Mr. Spencer-"

"Don't sweat it Chief. We're just saving these two the trouble of having to re-explain the case once they come to us for help." Shawn said with a sh*t eating grin.

"We're not going to need your help Spencer, so don't hold your breath." Lassiter hissed, but then began to ponder "Well actually…go ahead, hold your breath." He ended, crinkling his nose in amusement.

Sam walked over and placed her elbow on Shawn's shoulder to lean against. "Yeah Shawn, I mean, it's not like we've ever helped our superiors over here solve cases before, much less solve cases independently." The ginger said in a snarky manner.

"Always the wise ass, Sam…" Bernadette grunted.

"How am I being a wise ass, Bernie?" Sam asked innocently.

"You are kind of being a wise ass, Sam." Drew admitted.

"Are not!" She defended herself.

"Being a certified wise ass myself, I can honestly say that you are being a wise ass." Shawn confessed as Gus nodded in agreement.

"ENOUGH!"Vic shouted.

"Agreed. Please continue, chief." Lassiter chimed in.

"Thank you detective. Now, as I was saying, we have a missing persons case on our hands and-"She was interrupted.

"A missing person's case? Really chief? Don't you think that's a bit low profile compared to what we've solved in the past couple of months?" Shawn whined.

"Mr. Spencer, for one, this is detective Lassiter and detective Carlyle's case, NOT yours. Secondly, the missing person happens to be Blair Landon." The Chief said sternly.

"Blair Landon? As in the wife of Richard Landon?" Sam queried as her jaw partially dropped.

"Who are Blair and Richard Landon?" Drew asked.

A Shawn and Gus looked over at the confused woman in shock.

"Richard Landon is only the founder of one of the most successful snack food companies in the world!"Gus explained. "Dude rakes in about 98 million dollars a year!"

"Tastino's snack company has the widest, and dare I say the tastiest, variety of munchies in the entire country! I am a rabid Ranch Rabbits fan, myself."

"It's true, he starts foaming at the mouth every time he sees a pack." Gus added.

"You people are aware that there is still a missing person, right?" Vick tried to focus the groups attention back on the problem at hand.

"Sorry chief, please continue." Drew said apologetically.

"Mrs. Landon was last seen two days ago around 3:52pm tending the garden of her Santa Barbra mansion. After reentering her home, she was not seen again. At the moment, we have no leads. Lassiter, you will be working with detective Carlyle since O' Hara is visiting family in Florida for the next few months. Sam and Drew, you will only be utilized if you are needed. That goes for the two of you as well. Any questions?" She ended.

Shawn raised his hand.

"Great, off to work!" Vick said making her way out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:****Sam here! And coincidentally, so is chapter three! Enjoy! **

*****Psych and it's characters belong to Steve Franks and USA*****

As Lassiter and Bernadette walked out of the chief's office, the consulting detectives followed closely behind them.

"May we help you?" The violet eyed woman asked stiffly.

"We're working on the case, remember Bernie?" Sam smirked.

"You guys will only be utilized if needed, remember Parker?" Bernadette taunted.

"Well, we just assumed that we would be needed, because last time I checked, neither of you have this." Shawn stated as he put his finger to his brow.

"Or this." Gus added as he flashed an award winning smile.

"And what is "that" exactly?" Drew asked as she folded her arms.

"The face of an angel." He replied smoothly.

Drew just shook her head is disapproval.

"You two know you need us!" Sam shouted as the two detectives headed for the exit.

"I'm sure we do." Lassiter said sarcastically as they walked through the door.

"Well, you heard them, let's get to work." Shawn said enthusiastically.

"Didn't they just say that were NOT on the case?" Drew asked.

"With Shawn, you get used to it." Gus reassured.

"Hey, why don't you guys show us your office?" Sam suggested. "That would be fun."

"You heard the lady Shawn; let's take them to our office." Gus said as he put his hand on Sam's shoulder.

Sam furrowed her brows and stared at Gus. As she stared, she studied his features closely and had a sudden epiphany.

"Drew, Gus looks just like Bud from the Cosby show!"

"Holy crap! It's uncanny!" She exclaimed.

"I don't look like Bud!" Gus scowled throwing his hand off of Sam's shoulder.

Shawn couldn't help but snicker at his friend's expense.

"So are we going or not?" Drew asked with her keys in hand.

"Yah, we'll meet you there." Gus huffed as he and Shawn walked out of the station.

"I cannot believe you didn't ask for the address before we started driving! I mean, who does that!" Drew shouted at Sam.

"It's not that bad, dude, it could be worse." She tried reassuring her friend.

"Not that bad? We're meandering around the outskirts of Santa Barbra!"

"Tehehe you said "meandering" "

"I'm going to kill you Sam!"

"Jeez, calm yourself woman, give me a sec." Sam tried thinking back to their brief time at the police station for anything that may help them find their way to the detective agency. She remembered seeing a I HEART MY CAT mug on what she assumed to be the large black haired cop's desk. Oh, she also remembered seeing a MOTEL 6 pen on the grumpy pepper-haired detective's desk. Gosh, it was all useless, until she remembered seeing something vital on the chief's desk.

"EUREKA!" the ginger exclaimed.

"What the hell, Sam?" Drew asked obviously irritated.

"I know the address! I remembered seeing a psych business card on the chief's desk and I remembered the address."

"Well done Holmes." Drew praised.

'Why thank you my dear Watson." She grinned as her fist met Drew's.


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey there guys, it's Sam. Yay, we made it to the Psych office with out a hitch!**

***Drew: Without a hitch? Without a hitch!? So you consider without a hitch-**

***Sam: (clasps hand over Drew's mouth) Enjoy chapter 4!**

****Psych belongs to Steve Franks and USA****

"Are you sure this is the place?" Drew asked suspiciously.

"Pretty damn." Sam assured the strawberry blonde. "Either that or this person just decided to advertise psych all over their home in big, green letters."

"Well excuuuse me for checking! I really don't feel like scaring the crap out of yet another elderly man trying to enjoy the perks of retirement life! I mean for Pete's sakes Sam, why did you have to jump on the man's back?"

"Ok first off, it's not my fault you punched the wrong address in on your douchey GPS system. And secondly, I was being cautious. That old man looked like a carbon copy of Mr. Miyagi from the Karate kid." The spunky ginger clarified as she walked up the steps and opened the door to the office.

"Hey, my GPS isn't douchey, its practical." Drew defended as she followed Sam into the seaside agency.

Inside, there was a long blue strip of tape that separated the room in half. On one side lay several opened boxes of Captain Crunch and Lucky Charms, a Rubik's cube with the stickers peeled off, a rubber chicken, a mound of papers that towered the trashcan next to it-A mess in general. The other side was kept impossibly tidy and had several objects that had "Do Not Touch Shawn!" sticky notes on them.

Sam slinked over to the mini fridge while Drew examined the mess with a great distaste. "Don't even think about it, Sam." She said without even looking in her direction.

"Aww, come on dude!" Sam whirled around with a carton of ice cream in hand. "They've got ice cream!"

"Cookies and Cream?"

"Naturally."

"Fine…but only after were done!" Drew paused to grab a bag of sun chips from a cabinet. "We'll call the guys and find out where they wandered off to."

**1 hour later**

"Well, that was epic!" Sam exclaimed as Phineas and Ferb switched to a commercial break.

"I know right? Wait a second….Where are Shawn and Gus?"

"Probably crawling in the tunnel tubes at Check E. Cheese's." Sam chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure that even they aren't that immat-" Drew was cut short when a loud crash emanated from the back room.

The two looked at each other and nodded in a knowing way. Drew grabbed a can of Pam from one of Gus' desk drawers and Sam grabbed the rubber chicken off of Shawn's desk.

"On the count of three." Drew mouthed

"I wanna count!"

"You always count!"

"You counted last time!"

"Fine!"

"One…two…three!" Sam kicked the door open, revealing a tall figure in the dim room. Drew scurried over to the male silhouette and began to spray pam in where she could only guess, was his eyes. This was solidified when the form dropped to the floor and began writhing in pain. Seeing her opportunity, Sam then rushed over to the man and began to beat him repeatedly with the rubber poultry. Initially, she couldn't hear the man's pleads for mercy because of the sheer adrenaline trip she was on, but once the blood pumping in her ears quieted down a bit, she froze. Wait, did he just say that he was…?

"D-Drew! T-turn the lights on!" Sam's voice was shaky.

"What's the matter, Sam?" When the lights switched on, the two dropped their weapons in horror.

"Sweet mother of Keifer Sutherland, Mr. Landon, are you alright?" Sam asked as she struggled to help the large man back on his feet.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Hey guys, Sam here! So sorry for taking forever to update, but being a detective is HARD work! **

***Drew: Work? Work!? All you did was play your DS and eat all of my special cereal! **

***Sam: Hey, defeating Bowser is no laughing matter! **

***Drew: (face palm) Enjoy chapter 5...**

****Psych belongs to Steve Franks and USA****

"Drew, stop hyperventilating!" Sam snapped as she sat the dazed man in a nearby chair

"Stop hyperventilating? You just assaulted a multi millionaire with a RUBBER CHICKEN!"

"Hey, you sprayed pam in his eyes!"

"We are going to jail, Sam! I can't go to jail Sam, I just can't!" She whined.

"I won't report you two." Mr. Landon groaned as he straightened out his back.

"-and Sam, you bruise like a peach! We're no- wait, what?"

"Look," He said turning to Sam "You're the psychic, right?"

"Err…well…umm..I…"

"If you solve my case, I will drop all charges against you and your friend."

"You will?" Sam asked.

"You will!?" Drew chimed.

"ONLY if you're the psychic." He emphasized "You are the psychic, right?"

Drew's eyes widened as she turned to Sam.

Sam paused "..Of course I am." She replied confidently "All I was going to say was that my partner is psychic as well."

"Partner? You mean her?" Mr. Landon asked, pointing his chubby finger at Drew.

"Oh no no, I was reffering to my partner Shawn Spencer. He's out at the moment."

"When will he be back?"

"He should be back very soon."

"I see. Then I shall return in an hour. Goodbye." He waddled out of the office.

The door slammed shut. Sam looked over at an obviously flustered Drew.

"Sam!" She exclaimed as she stommped towards her.

"That's psychic detective Sam to you."

Drew bit her knuckle "How long do you think you can keep this whole fake psychic thing up?"

"As long as I have to. Do you want to go to jail Drew?"

"Not in the slightest. I have a clean record and I want it to stay that way. But with you as a friend, that seems to be an unrealistic goal." She sighed while folding her arms.

"No worries dude, I'll pull it off."

"For our sake, you better."

Drew plopped on the couch in exhaustion. After that episode, she felt as if she had just ran a marathon. Sam, seemingly unphased, sat down next to her friend and turned the TV back on. Around thirty minutes later, the door swung open.

"Dude, that was an amazing session!" Gus exclaimed walking in.

"I know, right? One more day like that, and we'll have enough tickets to get the walkiee talkies!" Shawn boasted.

"Where the hell have you guys been!? We've been waiting here for hours!" Drew complained as she stood up.

"Sam? Drew? How did you guys get in here?" Gus asked.

"The front door was unlocked." Said Sam rising to her feet.

"Shawn!" Gus shouted.

"Look, if you must know, we went to go get smoothies."

"Smoothies? It took you guys two hours to grab smoothies?" Sam asked incredulously while playing with Shawn's slinky.

"Well, right next to said smoothie place was a Chuck E. Cheese's, and Gus insisted that we go."

"that was you Shawn."

"I've heard it both ways."

"Well, while you two were out frightening little children, Mr. Landon payed a visit." Said Drew.

"He did?"

"Yep. He walked in, Sam beat him with a rubber chicken, and he'll be back in an hour."

"You beat a multi millionaire with a rubber chicken?" Gus asked, not believing what he was hearing.

"Well Drew sprayed pam in his eyes."

"Oh, and Mr. Landon thinks that Sam is psychic."

"Wait, he thinks she's what?" Shawn asked.

"He said he wouldn't press assault charges if I was the psychic." She defended putting the slinky down.

"That's terrible. People can't just go around pretending to be psychic to evade arrest. That's a slap in the face for real psychic's such as myself." Shawn scolded.

"It's repulsive. There's no way you're going to be able to keep this up. The only way you could is through dumb luck-and lots of it." Gus' eyes shifted to Shawn.

"Well, what are we going to tell Vic when Mr. Landon refers to you as "psychic"?"

"I'll think of something." Sam assured.

A knock came from the door.

"Miss Parker?" It was Mr. Landon.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Hey guys, Sam here! First off, I just wanted to wish you all a super fantastic New Year! 2012, prepare to be conquered by me, Sam Parker of Los Angeles! Enjoy chapter 6!**

** **Psych belongs to Steve Franks and USA****

"Come in." Sam replied.

"Hello again, miss Parker. This must be Mr. Spencer."

"Yes, HUGE fan, Mr. Landon, huge fan." Said Shawn excitedly.

"Now that you're here, I can tell you my predicament." He said settling into a chair "You see-"

"You're wife has been missing for three days now." Sam shouted with her eyes closed.

Shawn and Gus both looked at her, and then at each other.

"Y-yes. Exactly. You are the real deal."

"So I've been told." She boasted.

"She was last seen at your Santa Barbra mansion around four o' clock." Shawn topped with his finger at his brow.

Sam looked at him.

"My goodness, precisely. This is amazing. I don't have a doubt in my mind that you will be able to solve this case for me."

"I am also sensing that you have been to the police, before coming to us." Said Sam.

"Well, yes. I went there first because I thought that they would be able to help me in a professional manner, but instead, the SBPD sent me two detectives that couldn't stop bickering at each other. It was unbearable. After that, my thought process was maybe if I have an extra set of detectives on the case, we'll actually get somewhere." He complained.

"Did one of them happen to look like the scarecrow version of Mr. Bean?" Asked Gus.

"Yes, and the other a young Angelica Huston with violet eyes."

"I see."

"Is there anything that you can tell us that would possibly be of use to us? Does she have any enemies that you know of?" Asked Drew.

"Enemies? None what so ever. Blair is a sweetheart and is loved by everyone. I have no idea what could've happened to my little Blairy berry…" His lip began to quiver.

"Blairy berry?" Shawn whispered to himself.

"Are you two the only people living in the mansion?" Sam asked.

"Pretty much." The man said with a sniffle "We don't have any children, but we do live with the help."

"The Help?"

"Yes, the maids, and our ever devoted butler."

"Say no more, the butler did it!" Shawn shouted from his desk.

Drew rolled her eyes at his uncalled for outburst.

"This isn't a game of clue, Shawn, this is real life." Hissed Gus.

"It's most certainly NOT the butler." Mr. Landon snapped "He is a respectable man who would do anything for us. The same goes for the maids. Unfortunately, our beloved chef quit just last month, and-"

"Very Interesting." Said Sam furrowing her brows. "Did he have a reason for quitting?"

"Sadly, His wife had been battling cancer for some time, and I am sorry to say that she succumbed to her illness**. **He said that he needed some time to himself."

Sam's large, vibrant blue eyes went blank. Her mom died of breast cancer when she was just six. She remembered how much her mother struggled with the illness up until it took her life. It was horrible. During that period of time, Sam developed a talent for concealing her emotions exceptionally well- a talent that stuck with her ever since. But Shawn, having very keen senses, noticed Sam's subtle expression change.

"Understandable." She nodded.

Shawn switched his attention from Sam to Mr. Landon "So you don't have the slightest clue as to why your wife could be missing?" He asked.

Mr. Landon shook his head in self pity.

"Would you mind if we take a look at your mansion?" Said Gus.

"Not at all. Can you come by later today?"

"Sound's good." Said Shawn rising from his chair.

"Great. Here is my address and number." He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. "I will be waiting for you."

"See you then." Sam said as the portly man departed.

"Okay then, now what?" Drew asked putting her hair up in a pony tail.

"Who's going to tell Lassiter and Bernadette that we're on the case?" Asked Gus walking up beside Drew.

They all paused and looked at one and other.

"DIBBS!" They all shouted simultaneously as they all raced towards the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well…here's chapter 7!**

****Psych belongs to Steve Franks and USA****

Damn it…" Lassiter hissed as he slapped his phone shut.  
>"What is it this time, Lassiter?" Huffed Bernadette.<br>"That was Spencer on the phone…"  
>"and…?"<br>He bit his lip in frustration "Mr. Landon paid a visit to the psych office earlier."

"They're on the case?" Asked Bernadette, already knowing the answer.  
>"No, he stopped by to take them out for dinner and a movie; yes their on the case! Apparently, he thought we were behaving "unprofessionally" Lassiter spat as he kicked the tire of his car, "I'm so sorry baby..." He then whispered as he knelt down and began caressing the tire in an apologetic manner.<p>

"Well, if he's expecting professional help from Parker, he will be miserably disappointed..." Bernadette sighed.

"This is all your fault!" Lassiter exclaimed as he stood up.

"Oh, don't you try pinning this on me!" shouted the female detective, whipping her sunglasses off. "If anything, this is your fault! You just couldn't agree on a damn thing I said!"

"Well excuse me for voicing my opinions!"

Bernadette paused with a look of offence "Telling Mr. Landon "Never send a woman to do what a man can otherwise do better," is not an appropriate opinion to voice in front of a client!"

Her piercing eyes burrowed through Lassiter's soul. His need to make an insulting comeback was suppressed for some odd reason.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," coughed Bernadette as she walked into the station. Lassiter followed.

"Well guess what Carlyle, you and your "friends" work under me now! I'm the boss, NOT you!" He snapped crossing his arms."Well guess what, Carlyle, you and your "friends" work under me now! I'M the boss, NOT you!" He snapped, instantly regretting what he said.

Bernadette's ears turned bright red with rage "Why you son of a-"

"D-detective?' McNabb interrupted timidly

"WHAT?!" Both detectives shouted simultaneously.

"D-detective Lassiter, I pulled up the information on the downtown robbery that you wanted." He stuttered as he handed his superior a manila folder.

Lassiter let out a grunt as he snatched the document out of Buzz's hands. The detective examined the papers and halted "Is that a pink paperclip?" Lassiter asked as a look of disgust painted across his face "Are these marginal notes written in glitter gel pen?!"

"Yes, sir, Mei Rin put the file together." Buzz said with a smile. Obviously, Lassiter didn't find this as cute as he did. "Detectives." Buzz bid a weak adieu as he scurried away.

"What is this anyway?" Carlyle asked as she snatched the file out of Lassiter's hands.

"There was a hardware store robbery downtown." Lassiter said as he grabbed the papers back.

"A hardware store? What did they take?"

"Rope, a ban saw, and an electric drill."

"Well that's an interesting assortment." Bernadette said as the two walked into the office area

"Well I think that went rather well." Shawn said with a smug look on his face.

"What did he say?" asked Gus.

"Well I would say, but we are in the presence of ladies."

"Was he that mad?" asked Drew as she started the ignition of her car.

"If he's anything like Bernie, I can only imagine the sheer amount of curse words that flowed out of his mouth." Chuckled Sam as she sprawled herself in the passenger's seat.

"I'm sorry, but could this car be any smaller?" complained Shawn as he tried repositioning himself "I've always been close to Gus, but this is ridiculous." He continued referring to their cramped conditions in the back seat.

"I have to agree with Shawn on this one. I'm almost positive I can smell what he ate for lunch today. Pepperoni pizza nachos?"

Shawn nodded in satisfaction.

"Wait, you're telling me that Sam isn't the only one that eats that health violation? She's been making that ever since our sophomore year of high school." Said Drew reminiscently.

"My girl!" exclaimed Shawn as he gave Sam a high five.

"I'm so happy that I am not the only one with a sophisticated pallet in this car." Sam joked. Well, not entirely joking. "For some reason, Drew won't warm up to them."

"I am so sorry that I refuse to eat nachos slathered in 7 different cheeses and pepperoni. Drew scoffed. "Oh. I think we're here."

"There is a God!" Shawn and Gus sang in unison.


	8. Chapter 8

**AUTHOR'S NOTE : We finally made it to the mansion! Gosh, I thought we were never going to make it with Drew's 'fine' navigational skills.**

***Drew: Says the girl who had trouble finding our cafeteria the first four months of our freashman year.**

***Sam: I'll have you know, I was a girl scout!**

***Drew: I'll have you know your confused!**

***Sam: ANYWAYS, enjoy chapter 8!**

*****Psych belongs to Steve Franks and USA*****

"So this is the place, huh?" asked Gus as the four plucky "detectives" pulled up to a massive mansion.  
>"I think so" Drew answered "This is the address that Mr. Landon gave us."<p>

"Woah, this place is ginormous!" Shawn exclaimed as they neared the great gate encompassing the impressive estate. The group was briefly startled when a young , yet stately voice blared from the intercom "Who are you and what business do you have for being here?"  
>Still slightly surprised by the sudden voice, Drew rolled her window down "We're from the Psych detective agency? Mr. Land-."<p>

"The police already investigated the premise, thank you very much. Now if you would be so kind as to leave, Mr. Landon really doesn't need any more stress pu-"

"Sebastian!" A deeper voice interrupted "I invited them in hopes that they could find my precious Blair. Quickly now, time is if the essence if we are to find her." Following this statement, the massive black gate slowly opened, allowing them to walk in.

"This garden is beautiful!" Drew marveled at the vibrant landscape before them "Too bad that this was the last place Mrs. Landon was seen…"

"Are you kidding me? If I was kidnapped, I would definitely want this to be the last thing I saw." Sam said throwing her arms in the air. Drew elbowed Sam's ribcage, causing her to yelp.

"Could you BE anymore insensitive, Sam?"

"Probably." the ginger's voice hitched, wrapping her opposite arm around her throbbing side "Just trying to lighten the mood…"

"Whatever Sam." Her friend rolled her eyes.

"Dude, this door is MASSIVE!" Shawn awed. "And look at that knocker." He tittered, pointing at the large, ornate lion head.

Gus sighed "Shawn, this is a mansion. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is going to be big! There is no need to be redundant, pointing out how massive everything is…"

"Well your head is redundant."

"That 's not even how you use the word, Shawn!" Hanging around Shawn long enough will seriously have you questioning your mental health. But the dude does have a point, everything about the mansion thus far was monumental, including the front door. This large, sturdy wooden door. Gus leaned in, his face mere inches from the door as he observed the remarkably uniform grain formation of the wood.

"Oh my gosh! This door is made out of solid Brazilian rosewood!" The man couldn't contain his excitement. "How much do you think this cost?"

"Somewhere in the realm of who knows and who cares." Said Shawn.

"It's just so…" When Gus reached out to touch the glossy wood, it swung open, revealing a tall young man in a tuxedo. Not realizing the door had opened, Gus' hand landed harshly on the 20-something year old man's face. Upon realizing what happened, there was a brief awkward moment, immediately followed by Gus removing his hand.

"Oh gosh, I-I'm so sorry…" Completely embarrassed by what just happened, Gus' words fumbled out.

Surprisingly enough, the man in the tux was seemingly un-phased "Not to worry." He said in a proper manner, smoothing his jet black bangs. "My name is Sebastian, I'm Mr. Landon's butler. He is waiting in the study."

Gus looked back to find Sam, Drew and Shawn having a silent fit of hysterical laughter- and at his expense! Just his luck, Sam and Drew caught up with them just in time to see his social blunder. Fantastic!

When they walked in, their mouths dropped simultaneously. They were greeted by an impossibly large reception room with towering ceilings. The space was justly decorated with Tastino's memorabilia.

"This place is-"Shawn started before Gus cut him off.

"I swear Shawn, if you say big, huge, massive, colossal, or gargantuan, I will take you down using only my pocket protector."

"Pft, you use a pocket protector?" Sam snickered.

The man's dark complexion turned a deep shade of red. "It's practical…"

"Right this way." Sabastian led the four awestruck young people down a seemingly endless hallway which riddled with doors. The butler continued down the hallway when Drew froze, yanking Sam backwards.

"Dude, what the heck! Did you find a clue already?"

"What? No, Mr. Landon has a freaking ice cream dispenser in there!" The strawberry blonde pointed at the glorious machine sitting in the one of the rooms that lined the hallway.

"Wow Drew, and you say that I'm the immature one…" Sam sighed.

"You still are the immature one!" Drew retorted.

"I know you are but what am I!"

"D-Don't touch that!" The slim man scurried towards Shawn, who lifted a large, empty picture frame to his bust.

"I was framed!" Shawn said with a childish smile "But all jokes aside, as a psychic, I must touch EVERYTHING in order to get a feel of the place. This will make finding Mrs. Landon all the more easy. My psychic collogue knows what I'm talking about, right Sam?" He called. When they looked over, they found Drew at the ice cream machine, attempting to dispense the frozen treat into her awaiting friend's mouth.

"What's taking so long?" Sam complained, mouth still gaping.

"I don't know! Gosh, this thing is slower than Paris Hilton!" Drew complained as the ice cream slowly inched out of the nozzle.

Sebastian then moved his gaze from the two women back to Shawn and Gus questioningly.

"All part of the psychic process." Shawn said with a sheepish smile.


	9. Chapter 9

Hello out there! Yes, 'tis I, you're 8th favorite ginger (Weasley siblings be damned) Sam Parker! Now I know what your probably saying to yourself, "Sam Parker ages like a fine wine" Wait, what? That's not what you were thinking? But I was close right...? Sure I was. Anyway, I come to you with a humble heart and a keen sense of fashion to apologize to your beautiful faces for being gone for so long. Who knew that having a semi-steady job could keep you away from the internet? But fret no more, babes, I have finally gotten around to buying my very own iPhone! Yes, it was, well, is, quite the expense, but hell, y'all are worth it! Why do you care? Well, This means you guys will be getting more updates! and by more updates, I mean no more 2 year hiatuses! Boy let me tell you, ALOT happened in these 2 years, much of which makes for great television...or stories...I'm still waiting on MTV to get back to me regarding that reality show...

*phone ringing* oh, excuse me...this will only take a minute. *answers* Yello?

Bernie: YOU DID NOT JUST PAY FOR AN IPHONE WITH MY CREDIT CARD. DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE ME TO PAY THIS OFF?! HUH?! I SWEAR, I'LL-

*hangs up* She'll get over it...you know, probably. Well. I'd better get going before Bernie does something rather unsavory to me. Until our next rendezvous, know that I love you, *phone ringing* and that if anything happens to me, Bernadette Carlyle is to blame. Later, babes!


End file.
